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:: Monday, May 03, 2004 ::
I think I understand now why Jay Gatsby threw those parties. Not so much to encourage people he didn't know to like him, but rather to create a situation where he enjoyed himself, drifting between the different mini-cultures that cohere within gatherings. It was about experience. Yes, boredom, but I think he had more going on inside than most realized besides the desire for Daisy.
What brought this on? Perhaps my own desire to spend time with others in various experiences. There are, of course, certain things that I will do alone, want to do alone, such as this upcoming trip to California. But I seek a balance between my need for solitary pursuits and my want to share good company and life experiences: a balance so delicately wrought, it seems. It's not easy to find those superlative horses, as the parable goes, and life is too brief and too dear to spend it with those who do not mesh with a person's values, ideals. I think it was Emerson who said that the first criteria of high friendship is the ability to do without it. I love that-- and I translate it to mean an impermeable autonomy, a sense of self that is strong enough not to be compromised by any relationship. And that is what I seek in others, along with certain politics, and perhaps a list of basic values. We all do this, I think, but more intuitively. I mean really, who else with whom to share the experiences you value most highly than ones who are likely to appreciate them as well?
:: Anne 6:29 PM [smartass remarks] ::
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