:: anne in the attic ::

Create Your Own Countdown

:: Sunday, February 20, 2005 ::

On this beautiful, rainy Sunday morning, I am on kind of a harsh reality ride. Okay, coming to terms with things that aren't easy to swallow takes turning it over and either accepting and making peace or letting go. Though I'm speaking of things "convoluted and not very interesting," I have composed the following list of resolutions in my head.

1. Rob Brezny (channeling Lillian Hellman) is right: "People change and forget to tell each other." Several relationships, past and present, are approaching irrelevance. Hurts, but it happens in the evolutions of anyone's life.

2. Don't expect people to be happy over your success (or minor successes). Most people will be secretly envious and like you a little bit less, especially if they can take no credit for it. This is not usually manifested openly, but rather in increasingly passive aggressive behaviour.

3. Along the same lines, if you consider yourself an "artist" of any kind (hang with me on the quotes-- denotes mainly someone who creates), save yourself the trouble and don't share your work with your friends, even if you're already aware it's shit or otherwise. Not everyone, but most of them will: (a) behave as though now they think they know your innermost being, and patronize you accordingly, (b) if they do think it's good, will harbor resentment toward you, or (c) if they're into the same areas, cop elements of your work -- consciously or not -- and pass it off as their own. Best to work steadily and quietly on your designated life's projects and let all be decided posthumously. If you really love the work and the process, that's all that really matters. Has any decent artist ever changed his or her work due to "feedback?" I doubt it.

:: Anne 11:41 AM [smartass remarks] ::
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Ah, the little blogger has a little time on her hands once again. Not enough, of course-- never enough, but she'll take it wherever she can get it.

On a recent KCRW broadcast, a member of the band Mercury Rev (interesting, the concept of a music "collective") was talking about how the people around you now may end up being the people around you for the rest of your life. How often do I find myself waiting to meet a certain type of person and ignoring the people already in my life?

Also recently, I had the opportunity to rewatch the High Art DVD. Favorite quote? Definitely Lucy's thoughtful utterance: "I haven't been deconstructed in a long time."

A close second, Greta's observance: "That girl's here again... the chick with the leak."

I'm envious of Lisa Cholodenko's skill and insight as an indie film director. Still, in the accompanying director's DVD commentary, there are questions unanswered. Something to be said for a little mystery, I suppose.

Been doing a lot of research in the interim-- the time between work, obligations, and my music projects, mostly. I seem to have hit a wall with the music projects. To put it simply, I am somewhat stuck in translation between the concept and the final product. I need a full-time sound assistant. Ha.

:: Anne 5:15 PM [smartass remarks] ::
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Y'know it's funny-- most of the time, I feel like an imposter, like everything I do musically, I'm just faking it and it's not really worth shit. Every once in a while, I get on a high about something, but I'm not even sure I know what I'm doing most of the time; I'm mostly relying on my senses to guide me. And sometimes I crash 'n' burn.

This recording studio has really tested my mettle. It has forced me to put my money where my mouth is and back up all of those years of "Well, I have these ideas, but really no way to translate them effectively, blah blah blah...." There is no excuse now, and I'm just beginning to see what hard work, what incredible detailing there is between a mediocre recording of an idea and a polished work that might withstand time's testing and outlast me as something worth remembering. It feels so elementary, but I still need to RTFM for the software I'm using.

Now if only there were one for the kind of work I'm trying to do.

:: Anne 4:44 PM [smartass remarks] ::
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