:: anne in the attic ::

Create Your Own Countdown

:: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 ::

One of my favorite films, American Beauty, is about people's secret lives (all the best stories are). Sometimes it's possible to find another or few with whom there is some overlap-- enough for a little understanding. I know we keep parts of ourselves to ourselves for security, and some of those parts we never share, of course. But it is interesting to watch what happens when people reveal parts of their secret lives. It can make for a 'spectac-ular' film.

I think people would be surprised at what I'm thinking most of the time. I'm not sure why, but people really like to make negative assumptions about me and my thoughts or motives. And much of the time, they're dead wrong. And being misunderstood is one of my greatest dreads [which often doesn't help my attitude toward people's misconceptions, a la vicous circle...]. People don't listen, though. They make up their minds and then act upon their own thoughts as if they were truths. Reductio ad absurdum.

I say this because last night at a gathering, someone made an ignorant remark that lumped me in with a group of people and then ridiculed that group. Most who were within earshot laughed at the remark as they looked at me. I tried to point out that this wasn't a kind thing to say, and in fact was something called 'profiling,' which has all of the same ingredients found in things like racism, sexism, and homophobia. The person who made the remark replied with something akin to See? This proves my point-- you're ______ just like I said. There was nothing I could say or do to undo what had been said about me and or what people thought as a result. And I felt powerless, ridiculed, and discriminated against. And worse, misunderstood. All because of something mean that someone said about me. When I asked why, she said, "Because it's funny." I said I didn't feel like laughing.

This is a good reminder that even though you hang out with a group of people who as a whole try to be tolerant and accepting, there are going to be individuals who will cut you down anyway, and members of the group will follow. It was amazing how fast 40-&-50-year-olds regressed to grade school behavior, making jokes at someone's expense unapologetically, and then rubbing salt in that wound, all for the entertainment of their peers. I guess it made them feel better about themselves to put me down. I will not be going out with that group again.

:: Anne 5:30 PM [smartass remarks] ::
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