:: anne in the attic ::
::::: ANNE IN THE ATTIC :::::
:: Sunday, February 24, 2008 ::
Well, now. It has been a while, so here's a little update before February's history.
Things are in motion, both 'good' and 'bad.' Of course, these are subjective judgment calls from my P.O.V. In some cases, I'm not sure how things will pan out.
The first thing that's been happening is I've been having mucho dental work done. It seems a couple of my teeth have decided to abandon structural integrity. I had a root canal and a crown [same tooth] over the past couple of a weeks, am looking at another crown this next week, and have developed a sharp pain in the area where the endodontist performed the root canal two weeks ago -- I think the tooth next door became agitated with all the poking, prodding & nudging [many novocaine shots]. I've spent over $2000 [out of pocket] and am probably looking at another $2-3000 before this is over. Man, when things decide to go south, why do they go all at once? I have always had good teeth - straight, white, & strong -- and have taken care of them. So this is quite an inconvenience, not to mention expensive.
On the familial front, I've been privy only to third party reports of my brother, the prodigal son. It seems his new wife has finally gotten him to sell his house, and they have skipped town in a new car. Last report puts them on the coast, deciding where to go next as they hit the road. I am not sure when I'll see or hear of him again, as all family members have now been cut off, after having tightened the purse strings [pre house sale-- I guess he expected us to save him from foreclosure]. I am amazed at his sudden irresponsibility, but I know it comes from her and her addictions. I suspect he will lose everything, but I can only hope he will escape her before it means his life as well. I am pretty sure she will move on once the money runs out. I can't fathom what is going through his head, as I have not spoken with him since October [when Dad & his wife visited]-- and even then, she kept a tight and angry rein on him. So although it remains a kernel in my thoughts, I can only turn it over so many times without new information, and then I have to let it go. I fuckin' hate it, but there it is.
The film is taking more shape every day, but I don't want to start the actual compositing until I have ALL of the footage I want, and that means interviews. There are some slated, but I was hoping to be done shooting and dive into full post-production by summer -- July or August. I notice that people tend to blow me off, thinking that the film is due way down the road [Spring of 2009] and that there's plenty of time, but it's really not. I hate being subject to other people's procrastination. I do not want to find myself scrambling to finish editing because of a few people who put off doing what they said they would do early on. In other areas, though, I am learning as I let it take shape in my mind and on paper. I am doing format conversions and interview transcriptions, which familiarizes me with the material so that I can kind of juggle ideas in my head. And I am taking in a lot of films lately, specifically noting other directors' and producers' technique and pacing. I am getting to know how I want to form the film's overall appearance. I am trying some things out. Fortunately, there is still time for that.
At work, I am dealing with the effects of carpal tunnel syndrome. Last week, I had a nerve conduction test done, and the news was that there is definite damage to the median nerve in each of my wrists. I bought new splints-- tighter and more contoured to the human form, and am now wearing them all night and all day at work. These new ones are smaller and black and strike a lower profile, so I am not as self-conscious about them in public. They also seem to be easier to work around, yet still provide the snug support necessary for immobility in the crucial part of my wrists. The test doc said I'm on the brink of needing surgery, and to prevent it, there must be some radical practices enacted to allow the nerve to heal. I'm seeing my primary doc next week to interpret the test results in more detail and hopefully recommend some healing methods [short of complete rest, which requires time off work... again] to avoid surgery.
So I'm sort of in survival mode right now. I'm hanging in there, trying to get everything done, budgeting pretty tightly to pay for everything, trying to work things out in my head so that things don't feel too chaotic, too out of control. In between, I take moments to appreciate and remind myself of the paths I've chosen and why. Some of it has to do with needing to have the space I'm in to myself, at least until the film is finished. I look at it as an investment in well-being, however expensive.
:: Anne 9:15 AM [smartass remarks] ::
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